How to Seek Connection through the use of Nonviolent Communications

It’s no secret that this is one of the more complex times to have healthy conversations with other humans in person and on the internet. From posts, comments,and Instagram stories, I’m seeing a lot of messages delivered in disconnecting ways. It’s disheartening, because there are such positive intentions behind these messages.

Unfortunately, if its delivery is in an inherently disconnecting way,it’s going to create further separation and isolation. Putting the progress of humanity at a halt. As a life coach that specializes in self-love and creating relationships that last a lifetime, being an incredible communicator is something that I’m an expert at. What can help you through this multidimensional moment in time is keeping the Four D's of Disconnection In mind when communicating to your loved ones.

The Four D's of Disconnection are Diagnosis, Denial of Responsibility, Demands,and Deserve. This comes from the work of Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, who developed Nonviolent Communication.

Let’s break this down in a statement that is similar to one you may hear during these times. “Wear a mask! Everyone should stay inside because I deserve to be able to walk on my favorite path without passing by people not wearing masks.” The demand here is “Wear a mask!” The diagnosis is “Everyone should stay inside…” And the deserve is “I deserve to be able to walk on my favorite path…” This Statement doesn’t invite connection.

My invitation is to consider using statements like “are you open to wearing a mask when you’re around me?” Or “I’m practicing social distancing; how would you feel about staying six feet or more away from me if we spent time together outside?” It’s important to keep things positive and connecting even if everyone isn’t living the same way as you.

Have you seen or spoken like that?

That’s ok! It’s never too late to level up your communication skills. If you see this communication style in your close loved ones, feel free to take a moment to inform them about the Four D's of Disconnection. I also encourage anyone and everyone to take a Nonviolent Communication class, its lessons have been invaluable to me.

Keep it compassionate out there, dear humans!